Is Happy Marriage Really Possible?

In our modern world, many people believe that marriage should fulfill our needs and makes us happy. However, psychologists warn us that this belief may pave our way to broken dreams and a bad marriage. They advise us to lower our expectations about marriage and our significant one. It does not mean that we should settle with someone who does not resonate with our affinities and standards. What it means is that we should not count on a marriage as happiness factor number one. Doing this, we put a lot of pressure on our relationship and our partner. These beliefs will sooner or later make us unhappy. Studies have shown no significant difference between happy and unhappy couples. Happy couples argue about the same things as unhappy couples. But, what is interesting is a fact that happy couples cope better with difficulties. They know how to argue and avoid hurting each other. They see their marriage as a work in progress and share the growth mindset as the most common trait. To answer the question – is happy marriage really possible – the article “Recipe for a Happy Marriage: The 7 Scientific Secrets” gives us the following tips.

1. Celebrate Good News – Turns out divorce isn’t as much about increased negative things as it is about decreased positive things.

2. Five To One – How many good moments do you need to make up for the bad ones? Research has a ratio for you: 5 to 1.

3. Keep Your Standards High – More and more people are told their expectations for marriage are too high. Research says the reverse: people who expect
more, get more.

4. Stay Close To Family And Friends – Keep friends and family in the loop. Your marriage should be your primary relationship — not your only one.

5. Don’t Expect Your Spouse To Make You Happy – Happiness lies within the individual and expecting a spouse to change that forever is unrealistic and
unfair.

6. Have More Sex – Over the course of a marriage, desire can lessen. Despite this, sex is healthy and has all kinds of biological and emotional benefits
that should not be ignored.

7. Excitement! – Couples don’t need more “pleasant” activities — they need more exciting activities to hold on to the rush they felt when they first fell
in love.

However, people who are in a happy marriage tend to be more supportive to each other. They try to understand their partners and help them grow. They accept their partners as they are, not expecting to become someone they want them to be or behave in a certain way. Happy couples embrace mutual differences trying to learn from each other. They are more adaptive to change and more resilient to the boredom of ordinary life. Happy couples do not believe in soul mates and do not nurture high expectations that could cause them trouble. They simply let go of all ideas they have about what their partner should or have to do. They accept things as they are, without complaining. Even though happy marriage is rarely possible, it is still worth to give it a try.